Lessons learned on community's soccer field
Recently, I heard of an incident that occurred at the Jackson Justice Complex soccer fields that I found disturbing. A soccer coach, whose name isn't important, had reserved a particular field for his team for every day except Saturday. It so happened that the Challenger soccer league had reserved the field in question for Saturdays and has been playing each Saturday without incident.

If you are unfamiliar with the Challenger teams, they are made up of children, youths and adults with various disabilities. Some have their wheelchairs modified so they can push the soccer ball toward the goal. Others are in walkers, some walk and run with difficulty and others are otherwise developmentally or physically impaired. All are helped by some wonderful young people who act as their trainers and mentors on the field.

The Challengers were told, not so civilly, that it was his team's field and told the Challenger coaches they had to vacate the field. Park security advised the Challenger coaches that they had the permit and could have the other team ordered off the field if they chose. One of the "soccer moms" was heard to say, "you people always think you should have special treatment." Rather than continue the argument, and in order not to upset the players of either group, the Challenger coaches graciously moved to another unused field. Subsequently they changed their permit to use the second field for future games and avoid further conflict.

The problem was solved, but the issue was not. The behavior and attitudes illustrated by the comments of this thoughtless parent and the team's coach taught their kids that any bully can have their way. What happened to teaching kids about manners or sportsmanship? Keeping the field, they probably thought they had won some kind of victory. In reality, they lost and so did their kids. They lost an opportunity to be respected by others including their kids and the kids lost the opportunity to see how responsible adults should resolve a conflict.

I have learned that life can take a sudden left turn, whether with one's health, accidents and loss. The following, called "Welcome To Holland" by Emily Perl Kingsley provides a little insight into the "special treatment" the parents of special needs children receive.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this …

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around … and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills … and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy … and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away … because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But, if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

Patrick McGoohan

Jackson